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Beth Person

Toolkit: Managing Stress and Anxiety

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Introduction 00

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Whether you're stressed from school, work, or other reasons, managing your stress X. While this report is not a replacement for therapy, the chapters in this report can help you understand what triggers your stress and how to address the symptoms and underlying causes.

Your personalized report contains the following chapters:

Interaction Style: How you tend to express yourself to others.

Interaction Styles Comparison: A look at how you use all four interaction styles, even if some more than others, and what situations tend to cause you stress.

Interaction Style Stress Management: Your predominant interaction style provides insight on how you can best manage stressful situations.

Barriers & Challenges to Success: Situations or personality features that might increase your stress if you let your guard down.

At Work Guidance: Tips to reduce stressful interactions with your colleagues, managers and subordinates at work.

Reducing Stress & Building Resilience: An activity to help you see where your personality supports or hinders your responding effectively to stress.

Handling Conflict & Difficult People: An activity to consider effective and ineffective strategies for managing difficult situations and people.

01 Interaction Style - Expanded

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How you tend to express yourself to others.

How do you tend to express yourself? How are you driven to interact with others? What is your natural energy and movement pattern? Your core Interaction Styles is the most easily observed aspect of your CORE since it is embodied in your communications and movements. The Berens Interaction Styles lens helps us establish rapport and greatly affects relationships of all kinds. Berens Interaction Styles is reflective of the long researched work on temperament in children as well as a deconstruction and reintegration of Social Styles and DiSC models.
Behind-the-Scenes

Synthesizer - Behind-the-Scenes

Beth’s Interaction Style

I have faith that we can make it all work out in the end
  • Quiet
  • Agreeable
  • Friendly
  • Approachable
  • Unassuming
  • Accommodating
  • Conscientious
  • Patient

Goals

To get the needed or wanted results

To integrate and harmonize

Stressors

Not enough input or credit
Pressed to decide too quickly

  • Do what it takes to get the best result possible
  • See value in contributions from many people or information sources
  • Support the group's process by allowing for digressions then refocusing on the desired outcome
  • Reconcile many voices in the communication of the vision
  • Make consultative decisions, integrating many sources of input
  • Focus on understanding the process to get a high-quality outcome
  • Aim to produce the best products and results
  • Support others as they do their work
  • Define specifications to meet standards and apply principles
  • Clarify values and intentions

Synthesizer - Behind-the-Scenes

Beth's theme is getting the best result possible. She focuses on understanding and working with the process to create a positive outcome. Beth sees value in many contributions and consults outside inputs to make an informed decision. Beth aims to integrate various information sources and accommodates differing points of view. She approaches others with a quiet, calm style that may not show her strong convictions. Producing, sustaining, defining, and clarifying are all ways she supports a group's process. Beth typically has more patience than most with the time it takes to gain support through consensus for a project or to refine the result.

Interaction Style - Expanded Authors
Original work by: Linda Berens © Step Research Corporation

02 Interaction Styles Comparison

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Showing how you tend to use all four interaction styles.

How do you tend to express yourself? How are you driven to interact with others? What is your natural energy and movement pattern? Your core Interaction Styles is the most easily observed aspect of your CORE since it is embodied in your communications and movements. The Berens Interaction Styles lens helps us establish rapport and greatly affects relationships of all kinds. Berens Interaction Styles is reflective of the long researched work on temperament in children as well as a deconstruction and reintegration of Social Styles and DiSC models.

Beth's Interaction Style:

Synthesizer - Behind-the-Scenes

Navigator
Chart-the-Course
Driven To
To have a plan of action

To see movement and progress
Stressed By
Not knowing what is likely to happen
Don't see progress
Get a desired result
Energizer
Get-Things-Going
Driven To
To involve and be involved

To move things along
Stressed By
Not being a part of what's going on
Feeling unliked or not accepted
Get an embraced result
Synthesizer
Behind-the-Scenes
Driven To
To get the needed or wanted results

To integrate and harmonize
Stressed By
Not enough input or credit
Pressed to decide too quickly
Get the best result possible
Mobilizer
In-Charge
Driven To
To get results

To see action taken
Stressed By
Feel out of control
Nothing being accomplished
Get an achievable result
Interaction Styles Comparison Authors
Original work by: Linda Berens © Step Research Corporation

03 Interaction Style Stress Management

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How you manage and develop stress based on your interaction styles.

How do you tend to express yourself? How are you driven to interact with others? What is your natural energy and movement pattern? Your core Interaction Styles is the most easily observed aspect of your CORE since it is embodied in your communications and movements. The Berens Interaction Styles lens helps us establish rapport and greatly affects relationships of all kinds. Berens Interaction Styles is reflective of the long researched work on temperament in children as well as a deconstruction and reintegration of Social Styles and DiSC models.

Beth's Interaction Style

Synthesizer - Behind-the-Scenes

Behind-the-Scenes
Pressing need to integrate
"It's worth the time to integrate and reconcile many inputs"

Beth is likely stressed by

  • Not enough input or credit
  • Pressed to decide too quickly

When stressed, Beth is likely to

  • Become quiet and agreeable
  • Avoid conflict
  • Take a rigid stance

How to help Beth

  • Be friendly, but not too expressive
  • Patiently provide information and encouragement
  • Give time to reflect and integrate

Beth's talents when fully leveraging Synthesizer - Behind-the-Scenes include

  • Support others
  • Define specifications
  • Clarify values
  • Produce high quality results
  • Search for commonalities
  • Encourage participation
  • Reconcile inconsistencies
  • Sustain efforts
Interaction Style Stress Management Authors
Original work by: Linda Berens © Step Research Corporation

04 Barriers & Challenges to Success

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What are several key barriers and challenges to success that are likely to recur during life for this person.

Barriers & Challenges

  • Beth typically has a strong need for privacy, an intense interest in just a few areas, and a dislike of small talk, which may make Beth appear distant, anti-social, or confusing to her peers.
  • She may be impatient with those who are less capable.
  • Beth may walk away from situations she sees as unjust, unfair, illogical, or not relevant to her.
  • If pushed Beth may also challenge authority for the same reasons.
  • Managing time, deadlines and completion are often problematic.
  • Concentrating on theory she may miss the important details.
  • Beth can appear compliant whilst ignoring what she sees as stupid rules.
Barriers & Challenges to Success Authors
Original work by: Sue Blair Mary Anne Sutherland © Step Research Corporation

05 At Work Guidance

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This section gives you tips about how to improve interactions with your colleagues, managers and subordinates at work.

This section provides personalized guidance for ten common “at work” scenarios.  This guidance is written to be helpful for both individuals and their managers or colleagues.  For each scenario, this section provides a personalized advisory narrative.  It also includes topics that will be an “Energizer” and “Stressor” for the individual as well as a scenario-related strength and weakness.  Finally, this section includes a personalized tip for the individual on how to perform best in the scenario.

Why it is important: Many people crave personalized guidance and mentoring at work - and this section provides just that in an automated fashion that is available on demand anytime a need arises.  This guidance will help individuals, and their managers, be more effective at work.

Communication At Work Guidance

Talking to their Manager

Beth typically loves to be able to share in discussion of the theories and models she is using. It also works well for Beth to have her manager identify the theory or model being used as long as it is a logically accurate fit. Beth's pursuit of perfection, using the right models and holding herself to higher standards means that sometimes it is hard for her to provide deadlines for when tasks will be done.

Energizer Evaluating which theory and model best applies to the situation Strength Determining the best theory by which future action will be made
Talking to your manager
Stressor Lack of a solid theory and model being addressed Challenge Providing clear deadlines for tasks
Tip Beth should work to answer those questions that have tighter deadlines

Talking to Colleagues and Staff

Beth is typically great with helping colleagues develop their competence and understanding the theories of why they are doing it the way they are. Her focus on abstract theories sometimes misses the emotional support that certain coworkers need.

Energizer Discussing the theories relevant to a coworker's job Strength Communicating the overall reasons
Talking to Colleagues and Staff
Stressor Colleagues who keep bringing up illogical reasons Challenge Overloading a colleague with theory
Tip Beth should spend less time on theory

Difficult Conversations

For Beth, she will often find a creative logical solution to implement rather than have the argument directly. When the argument does come up, then Beth is likely to focus on logical methods to finding a solution. If she has not found a workaround solution and the issue is left to fester, then sometimes it can result in an explosive argument.

Energizer A common criteria for evaluating success Strength Focusing on the logical ramifications
Difficult Conversations
Stressor Illogical arguments Challenge Holding in problems so long that there is the risk of an explosion
Tip Beth should acknowledge the value of others' emotions

Doing Presentations

Beth is typically very good at taking complex theories and finding ways to display and share them very effectively in her presentations. She typically does her best work on her presentation while alone or with only one or two other experts. If there are too many people involved in building the presentation or lots of emotional issues than Beth is likely to find working on the presentation very taxing.

Energizer Dealing with interesting theoretical topics Strength A presentation that links clearly to logical processes
Doing Presentations
Stressor Having to deal with lots of people to build the presentation Challenge Presentations with a strong emotional appeal
Tip Beth should take time to connect the material to the people

Managing At Work Guidance

Setting Goals

For Beth, it is typically very important that any goals being set fit into the logical situation at her work. Beth likely prefers focusing on goals that directly relate to her and her projects. If either setting the goals or achieving the goals requires a lot of interaction with others and is dependent on their success then Beth will likely be frustrated.

Energizer Goals which require learning and increasing competency Strength Knowing which goals make the most future logical sense
Setting Goals
Stressor Illogical goals with no clear way to determine accuracy Challenge Setting goals that increase interaction with others
Tip Beth should work to set deadlines and increase cooperation for her goals

Team Building

Beth is typically very good at understanding the correct ideal theoretical arrangement for the team. She is very good at understanding the logical order for the team that allows each person to expand their skills and still get the job done effectively. While Beth is typically patient with people as they learn new skills if a team member continues to make the same mistake repeatedly than Beth can become very frustrated.

Energizer Architecting how the team can be its most effective Strength Advising and guiding the team to be more effective
Team Building
Stressor Having team members who are illogical Challenge Having patience for team members who repeat the same mistake
Tip Beth should take more time socializing with team members

Leading

Beth is likely to prefer leading by doing her best to help make sure each person is doing their best. She will probably have a focus on leading through a logical and rational approach. Sometimes her preference for logical approaches can leave others feeling disconnected.

Energizer Considering the logical approaches and models used for the mission Strength Making sure that things are logically aligned with the mission
Leading
Stressor Too many illogical objectives involved in the mission Challenge Creating an emotional connection with those involved
Tip Beth should take extra time understanding what people involved with the mission need

Delegating

Beth is likely to prefer delegating by gathering information and then determining what makes the most logical sense before delegating. Beth is probably most comfortable when everyone keeps things at a logical level. Her approach to gather information and confirm accuracy can sometimes not enough attention is paid to dates and deadlines.

Energizer Having space to determine the best process for the delegated tasks Strength Creating logical guidelines for the person being delegated to
Delegating
Stressor Too much strong emotional response to the delegated tasks Challenge Setting specific deadlines
Tip Beth should take extra time to set final and intermediary deadlines

Growing At Work Guidance

Time Management

Beth is likely to work well with a high degree of independent time to refine the her projects. All her work towards perfection is likely to mean that when suddenly presented with a deadline she can adapt and produce well.

Energizer Having plenty of private time to refine the ideas and projects Strength Taking as much time as needed to refine projects
Time Management
Stressor Being pressured to rush important projects Challenge Laying out clear timelines for when to stop working on projects
Tip Beth should work on defining a few key intermediary deadlines

Getting Feedback

Beth is likely to really appreciate being given feedback that is logical and relates to process at hand. Beth is probably very good and continually refining her thinking as she gets more data. Beth may sometimes fail to give an appropriate reaction to emotional feedback.

Energizer Clear logical reasons for what they need to improve Strength Correcting and making improvements based on logical feedback
Stressor Lots of emotional content in the feedback Challenge Providing emotional support to the person giving feedback
Tip Beth should try to give positive support to the person providing feedback
At Work Guidance Authors
Original work by: Sterling Bates Gene Bellotti © Step Research Corporation

06 Reducing Stress & Building Resilience

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Each person's unique style influences the way they are affected by stress.

Each person/s unique style influences the way they are affected by stress. Helping them see where their personality supports or hinders them responding effectively to stress can go a long way toward building resilience, reducing stress and overcoming challenges.

Reducing Stress & Building Resilience

  • Caution Beth against seeing perfection as the standard to meet, often it’s worth risking failure rather than doing nothing.
  • Remind Beth that when directness and critique are balanced with diplomacy and praise, others are more receptive to her good ideas.
  • Challenge Beth to let others in on her thinking process sooner – others can’t help if they don’t know what she is considering and may struggle with accepting a pronouncement from Beth if they feel they had no part in shaping it.
  • Appeal to Beth’s natural inclination to refine her thinking if it improves performance. Help her to see that it is preferable to factor in the logical consequences of her choices on her own and others’ emotional wellbeing – issues can be explored in the abstract but once acted upon, result in outcomes she and others will have to bear.

Troubleshooting Common Problem Behaviors

Hiding behind the belief that "The only truth is a universal truth."

  • Tell Beth “A truth or principle doesn’t become less true solely because it doesn’t capture all possible options, apply across all situations or predict all possible outcomes.”
  • Have a discussion with Beth about how her commitment to creating an all-encompassing framework capturing everything under a single rubric can result in analysis-paralysis and get in the way of finding a “good enough” strategy to allow her to get going.
  • Make clear to Beth that getting so caught up considering the best way to understand something can mean that she never shares her well thought out theories and misses a chance to transform those abstract ideas into an actionable approach that she and others could apply in the real world.
  • If Beth is receptive, suggest she creates a gratitude journal or look at some of the exercises in Tal Ben Shahar’s book Being Happy: You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life for ideas on both how to view things in a more realistic and positive light.

Practice new skills: Homework/In-Session Activity

  1. Ask Beth to look at the list of overuse tendencies and pick out three of the items.
  2. Have Beth explore how the items she chose have adversely affected her life and what she might like to do differently instead. This can be homework or you can work on it together in the session.
  3. Suggest Beth use these prompts to record any new insights, a-ha’s and actions that could be tried.
    1. Keep track of with whom, when and under what circumstances you find yourself overdoing your style in order to improve your ability to recognize which people and situations result in overuse of your preferred strategies.
    2. Note anything that helped you to cope in stressful situations and how this might help you to expand your perspective, try new things or reach out to others more readily.

List of Overuse of Preferred Style ITEMS TO GIVE Beth – She picks 3

Beth Person

Beth may overuse her natural style and increase her stress when she:

  • Fails to recognize that she and the others in her life have an emotional stake in whatever actions she takes.
  • Sees her own feelings as irrelevant if her objective analysis says that something should be good (or bad).
  • Assumes that the proper mood will strike and things will get done without her needing a plan or structure to keep herself on track.
  • Looks at so many options that determining which approaches and opportunities are best becomes overwhelming.
  • Longs for an idealized future when everything will be better, failing to prioritize practical things that could be done now to support her wellness.
  • Excludes or trivializes simpler or more traditional stress reduction techniques, failing to grasp that there is a reason they became traditions.
Reducing Stress & Building Resilience Authors
Original work by: Elizabeth Hirsh Katherine Hirsh © Step Research Corporation

07 Handling Conflict & Difficult People

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This section highlights particular strategies, both effective and ineffective, that a person may rely on when faced with conflict.

Handling conflict and difficult people is a challenge for all of us. This section highlights particular strategies, both effective and ineffective, that a person may rely on when faced with conflict. It describes how overuse of certain strategies might inflame rather than reduce conflict unless the person becomes conscious of their limitations. It also enumerates the sorts of difficult people who tend to irritate them as well as the awkward situations that may evoke resistance in them. Finally, it offers tips to help you support the person in developing greater competence and professionalism in conflict resolution.

When Handling Conflict & Difficult People

  • Encourage Beth to step back to allow her normal gift of objectivity to re-emerge before trying to analyze the conflict.
  • Suggest that Beth use thinking aloud and rhetorical questions to help her reflect on the causes of the conflict.
  • Remind Beth that feelings, her own and those of others, are important data points for understanding why conflict occurred and figuring out which solutions are the most are most desirable.
  • Help Beth to see that seeking the truth isn’t only about questioning assumptions and finding flaws in logic; how people feel and what they need has to be considered as well.

Troubleshooting Common Problem Behaviors

Believing there is a universal approach to conflict

  • Tell Beth “ You can’t solve every conflict with a single method no matter how brilliant or theoretically sound.”
  • Have a discussion with name to explore why many conflicts require individualized solutions that address the specific needs and wishes of the people involved.
  • Explain that “While the desire to treat everyone equally is a noble one, when logical principles clash with real people’s needs, care should be taken to find a solution that honors both the ideal of fairness and the feelings of the individuals concerned.”

Being exacting to the point of missing the real issue

  • Tell Beth “Splitting hairs or arguing over precisely what happened can often push people away.”
  • Have a discussion with Beth about how debating others over the particulars of an issue can mean the point gets lost; others feel they aren’t being heard which makes a genuine exchange less likely.
  • Explain that “Many people use nitpicking the facts underlying a conflict as a way to handle emotional distress and feelings of vulnerability.”

Being unsettled by strong emotions

  • Tell Beth “Conflict resolution isn’t simply a matter of rendering an impartial decision about what’s right and wrong.”
  • Have a discussion with Beth to explore how getting in touch with her feelings is rational way to determine what matters most to her during conflict.
  • Explain that “No matter how disorienting it can be when conflict seems emotionally driven, acknowledging the importance of your own and others’ feelings allows you to find solutions that are both personally satisfying and logically sound.”

Practice new skills: Homework/In-Session Activity

  1. Ask Beth to look at this list (SEE LIST BELOW) of people who might trigger her to lose her cool and pick out three items.
  2. Have Beth brainstorm possible ways of staying calm when meeting these sorts of people. This can be homework or you can work on it together in the session.
  3. As a next step or additional homework, suggest Beth record any new conflicts and reflect on them. Have Beth respond, orally or in writing, to the following prompts:
    1. “To improve your ability to recognize which people and situations trigger you, keep track of with whom, when and under what circumstances you lose your cool.”
    2. “To improve your coping skills going forward, note anything that helped you to manage your negative emotions when you couldn’t avoid dealing with these sorts of difficult people.”

List for Homework/In-Session Activity

Beth Person

Beth may be triggered to lose her cool by people who:

  • Seem narrow-minded and inconsistent
  • Focus solely on the current reality
  • Prioritize duty over fun
  • Make emotional appeals
  • Appear to tolerate sloppy thinking
  • Require Beth to rush
  • Make no room for questions
  • Discourage skepticism
  • Want to stick with the known or refuse to look at what’s possible
  • Fail to recognize Beth’s competence
Handling Conflict & Difficult People Authors
Original work by: Elizabeth Hirsh Katherine Hirsh © Step Research Corporation